Call to Worship by David Ray, ?Thanks, Robert Frost.?
Do you have hope for the future? someone asked Robert Frost, toward the end.
Yes, and even for the past, he replied,
that it will turn out to have been all right for what it was,
something we can accept, mistakes made by the selves we had to be,
not able to be, perhaps, what we wished,
or what,? looking back half the time, is seems
we could so easily have been, or ought?
The future, yes, and even for the past,
that it will become something we can bear.
And I too, and my children, so I hope,
will recall as not too heavy the tug
of those albatrosses I sadly placed upon their tender necks.
Hope for the past, yes, old Frost!
Your words provide that courage,
and it brings strange peace that itself passes into past,
easier to bear because you said it, rather casually,
as snow went on falling in Vermont years ago.
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The Courage to Witness: Easing the time of dying for those we love
Carol L. Rizzolo
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Opening Reading: Witnessing is an archetypal and deeply human behavior, recognized to be of supreme value since the earliest experiences of our human ancestors.
The moment of the birth of a child is the moment when we get to witness the birth of Psyche into the body. Right then, Psyche herself sings her song of absolute joy at being born on earth. All who she touches laugh and play at the sight and sound of a newborns laughter. The young one explores and finds joy in so many things. But then after a year or two or three, as the child grows, the demands of society creep in and begin to box in the Psyche of the little one. School, social norms, and eventually work and family?the various demands of daily living? call upon each of us to pay attention. Eventually, as we move closer to the end of our life span?as one truly approaches the time of dying, many of the demands of daily living again fall away and much like at the start of life, Psyche again becomes free of many of the concerns of daily living?is the rent due? is there food in the frig? These things no longer matter?and it is at this time that we are able to bear witness to something absolutely exquisite?Psyche?s final farewell?her long lament of love that she sings as she prepares to separate from the body that she has shared for a lifetime. It is here, at this threshold, that we are able to touch the transcendent, the realm of the sacred, the realm of the divine, the place of the angels.
Sermon
The time of dying has always been filled with mystery and unanswerable questions. In 2009, Dr. Ajay Bhatnagar, an oncologist at the University of Pittsburgh Cancer Institute, reported that Ninety-five percent of patients wanted their doctor to be honest about their chances of a cure and how long they could expect to live.
How long do I have to live?
The question itself is pregnant with the fear of death and yet, paradoxically, the very same question holds within it an element of hope. And what about the element of time, often a hidden aspect of our lives.
From this very first question asked by a patient, the experience of time is brought into the discussion. Time has long been mythologized since the beginning of the human experience?Cronos, the source of Chronometer, circular face of a watch, Father Time?Aion, the Phoenician god of time and eternity.
At the end of life, there are two distinctly different sorts of times being lived. Linear time ?the time marked by the passing of the hours, the minutes, the seconds on a clock?the sort of time that allows us to schedule nurses, and caretakers to be with the ill, and the sort of time that allows us to schedule time to be together.? And then there is? the lived experience of time which is a more elastic experience. For example, when one is engaged in an enjoyable activity, one might feel that ?time flew by.? Alternatively, when engaged in an unpleasant activity lasting exactly as long as the enjoyable one, you might have the felt experience of linear time slowing to a crawl. When someone becomes ill and is hospitalized, it is a really common experience for the days to crawl by and for the person to lose track of linear time.
For the one dying there is a very individual circadian rhythmic time determined by the physiologic clock of the body; a primal or circular sense of time very much in tune with the lived experience rather than particular hours of the day.
These two experiences of time are woven together into the tapestry that is a part of the end of the life trajectory; the first being the somewhat circular experience of the person dying and the other being linear time of the attendants.
In many cultures, the time of one?s death is considered to be divine knowledge, attributed to, determined by, and known only to the gods. In ancient Mesopotamia, religious beliefs held that gods Anu, Ea, and Enlil determined the time of one?s death. Religions of ancient Greece believed the length of one?s lifetime to be determined by the Fates, the Moirae; Clotho, Lachesis, and Atropos. Monotheistic traditions of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam believe time was created by God? and that the time of one?s death can only be known and determined by God. It is clear that the teachings of each of many faith traditions consider death and the time of dying to be worthy of sacred consideration.? This divine, elusive, and much mythologized nature of time,? joins with mystery of death as one approaches the final threshold of this life.
Of course, the medical community also recognizes that the end of life is a time that requires uniquely tender care. Clinicians are at once called upon to compassionately engage the emotionality of the end of life process at the same time as addressing concrete medical issues that surround the dying trajectory of the individual. Just as vigiling and an attendant at the bedside are spiritually important, proper pain management and medical care at the end of life must also receive appropriate attention.
From the spiritual to the psychological, the anthropological and the medical, the fear of death has been explored, expressed, and plumbed for the wisdom that each discipline might offer to illuminate one?s life. But, somehow in all of that , the time of dying is often left unmentioned and unexplored. So, that time of life will be my focus this morning as it is the religious perspectives that inform our time of dying perhaps more than any of those I just named.
Attending to the sick is one of the few instances in Orthodox Judaism in which the obligation to the sick is more important than keeping the Sabbath.? In this tradition, it is a Talmudic dictate, a commandment given the power of Gd himself, in a culture where there is no more supreme and powerful voice than that of YHWH?that one attend the dying. Indeed, the attendant at the bedside is understood to be engaged in divine communion and prayer with God Himself by virtue of being present to the dying individual.
Followers of the Islamic faith are instructed to read the Qu?ran at the bedside of the dying. This tradition is exquisite in that it not only brings the bedside visitor into the room, but, for the follower of Islam, the practice of reading aloud gives voice to the sacred words of Allah himself. Actually, reading at the bedside at the time of dying brings to mind the Bardo Thodol, or Tibetan Book of the Dead from the Buddhist tradition.
In many traditions, the world was created by the word, the breath of the soul. Reading the holy texts at the bedside are but one way to bring the wisdom of our ancestors, through the divine breath of the human voice, into the room.
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I recently had the opportunity to speak with a Jewish woman who had attended the protracted dying process of her husband. As she told her story, she spoke of her upset at having felt useless; she had not been able to do anything for him, and all she could do was sit. It was stunning to see the way that her memory of those dark days turned when I explained the sacred nature of what she had done. That according to her faith tradition, she was doing exactly what was required of her, and by so doing she herself was in the deepest form of divine communion with her Gd. Performing a sacred act that had been performed by millions of women and men before her.
Sitting at the bedside brings all of the power of ritual to bear in this sacred transition out of this life.
It is an extraordinary concept to recognize that in our busy culture the act of witnessing, being present to the sick is not only enough, but, in this unique time of life, merely being present to witness is sacred. Megory Anderson , the Executive director of the Sacred Dying Foundation in San Francisco describes the importance of ?vigiling?.Anderson writes:
Throughout history, the community of faith has traditionally been present both physically and spiritually during a death to guide the dying into the afterlife. Only recently, in the age of medicine and technology, have we passed this responsibility to hospitals and nursing homes. It is time to reclaim death and dying as a spiritual transition.
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When we access the transcendent, a place of wonder and awe, the concerns of daily living fall away, time flows differently, and we are called to witness.? Just as birth is witnessed by those in the delivery room, so the great wisdom literature, both secular and sacred teach us that death too must be witnessed.
Is it easy to bear witness to a death? No, not at all. If it were, it wouldn?t need to be a commandment. And yet, so much of life is lived in those months, days, and moments as one approaches death, the attendant can learn a great deal at that time. A time that has frightened the wits out of many of us in its inevitability, in the sorrow and sadness of our final farewell and yet a time so sacred as to be witnessed by the Gods in cultures from the beginning of time.
Several times now I have eluded to the teachings of our common human ancestors. beginning of time, let me share with you some of the ancient literature that informs my words.
Since the earliest epic known to humankind the time of dying has been highlighted as being both sacred and unique. The epic of Gilgamesh, the first epic known to modernity, was written in approximately 2750 B.C. and exists in varying lengths and languages written over the next 1000 years! The story in it longest and most complete version, is 12 tablets long and it highlights the time of dying by both its placement in the exact center of the text, and the devotion of an entire tablet to the process.
The 1st 6 tablets tell of the exploits and adventures of the greatly mythologized King of Uruk, King Gilgamesh and Enkidu, the forest dweller and soul mate who becomes his best friend. The turning point of this story is precisely in the middle of this work. The gods having become angered by the exploits and power of this pair and decide that Enkidu must die. He becomes fatally ill and over the course of tablets 6 and 7, the reader is brought to the bedside to witness the dying process of this greatly mythologized hero.
In a dream, Enkidu witnesses the council of the gods as they determine that he will die. When he awakes, the dying man expresses his anger at those who have wronged him. After his rant, the god Shamash, a god who personifies the mystery of consciousness, appears to him. ? The God of supreme knowledge reminds Enkidu of the many blessings that were bestowed upon him during his lifetime. After this conversation Enkidu moves from furiously cursing those who have wronged him and begins to? speak his blessings of those very same individuals. He accepts that he will die and the reader is privy to the first recorded experience of the time of dying, one imagined over 4000 years ago. Throughout the time of dying, Gilgamesh sits steadfastly by his side expressing his confusion over the decision of the gods and such grief that the reader cannot help but be moved by Gilgamesh?s pain. Throughout these tablets, the two heroes speak and reflect and travel respectfully and together through this unique time of life. Ultimately it is only Enkidu who will die now. But, Gilgamesh, in all of his humanity, takes in deeply that there will be a time when he too will die. He has learned what it looks like and feels like to move through the dreaded and feared threshold that takes one from the vibrancy of life, through the sacred realm of the dying where the fluidity of time itself cannot go unnoticed. In this sacred landscape, defined by ones deepest bodily truths, the finitude of the human body is presented to the reader in all of its richness.
With the knowledge of the sacred nature of the dying process as well as the sacred nature of the attendant, it is possible to change the dynamic occurring in the room of the dying in loving and lovely ways. Anderson writes:
Each faith tradition believes that at the time of death, the soul leaves the body. Where the soul goes differs according to the religious belief, but this moment of departure is a sacred event, and one that requires not only respect from the living, but also assistance from those who witness it.
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When one crosses the threshold from healthy or ill into the land of the dying, the person and his or her attendants enter the unique landscape of the time of dying, the empty time of the death watch.? It is deeply important that attendants to the dying recognize the importance of altering their own schedules to do their very best to insure that the patient not be left alone during this tender transition. Echoes of the ancient Talmudic dictum can be heard in this reverential treatment of the dying individual. But , what if no one is able to be present? Or perhaps the one who is dying asks to be left alone. How do we make sense of that when it is one we love so dearly. If that occurs, or even if it doesn?t Psyche , in union with the body,? does some very interesting things.
First, It is common that dying individuals see people such as deceased friends or relatives whom they have known during their lifetime. Others speak of visions of angels or newly beloved mates as the end of one?s own life approaches. Two wonderful examples I will share what I think is a totally darling stories on the seeing of visions?one woman told me of the last months of her Mom?s life. As her Mom moved closer to dying, she was sleeping a bit more, a fatigue often seen in those moving closer to their death. Well, this lovely woman, in her late 80?s, began to speak to her 2 daughters of her boyfriend and her cat. Her one daughter thought the old woman had gone completely nuts?because to anyone looking in, this was an elderly widow who had lived alone for years, and whose life had shrunk down to a small small room in a nursing home. Yet, in spite of her daughter?s protestations, she would describe this man, the love of her life, and when anyone came in to her room she would caution them to not let the cat out. Indeed, her dream lover, her perfect mate, had managed to move from only sleep dreaming to her waking dreams too, and she was happier than she had been in years. In Jungian terms, she was living the Heiros Gamos, the divine marriage. One daughter was desperate to treat these hallucinations. But her other daughter was thrilled to see her mother so happy and would ask her to tell of the adventures with her boyfriend, what they had for dinner, etc etc. Ultimately, the Mom died quite happy, in the arms of her perfect lover, with the cat by her side.
In some fashion, her body had created this perfect man of her dreams ..and this fortunate woman didn?t die alone at all. Can we fault the one daughter? Of course not.
Another is the woman with her ship captain. The first is a nice example of the heiros gamos that has been seen to occur in the times near death. The latter, we see the ship motif, we might recognize the figure of Charon ,the ferry boat driver of ancient mythologies. The one who ferries the souls of the dead across the river Styx.
As to seeing angels, an excellent example can be found Two thousand years after the story of Gilgamesh, as the end of the life of the great patriarch Abraham was imagined in a 1st c. piece of diasporic humor entitled The Testament of Abraham. Abraham did not leave a testament in the biblical traditions, thus leaving room for Bards of the day to create the story that they imagined to be the end of the life of this great man. The earliest versions of this story emerge in the 1st c.? AD, in the Mesopotamian basin, and the story exists in over 2 dozen written versions stemming from seven different linguistic sources, the most recent version stemming from? Romania in the 18-19th c.
Why does this particular story matter all these years later? Because as recently as 2002, over 80% of Americans self identified as being of the Abrahamic faith traditions: Judaism, Christianity, or Islam. Thus the way that the dying time of the man recognized to be the patriarch of these three great traditions has been imagined for almost 2 millenia lends insight into the ways many of the cultures which inform our own, imagined the dying time of? ?an ideal man.?
The story takes the reader to the crossroads of the Oak of Mamre, where Abraham has pitched his tent. To Abraham, the archangel Michael appears with the directive from YHWH to ?speak to Abraham about his death and to put his affairs in order.? As with Enkidu, it is imagined to be a Gd who speaks to the one who is dying to inform him or her that the dying time is near. Whether in dream as with Enkidu, or via Angelic messenger as with Abraham, the voice of Gd makes itself known in a way that the dying individual can comprehend. Angelic beings maintain the all-important link between the sacred and the profane, and so once again, the reader is reminded of the sacred nature of this time of life.
In the Testament of Abraham, Michael is instructed to gently tell Abraham that he is ?About to go out of this futile world [. . .] and depart from this body and you will go to your own Master among the good.?? Abraham welcomes the angelic messenger as a beautiful soldier, yet does not recognize the archangel for the divine figure that he is. Abraham invites the angel to be his guest in his home and to share a meal with his family. to feast together. The experience of seeing and speaking with an angel or a deceased loved one is so common now at the end of life as to merit mention on the website of the National Cancer Institute. The website gives instruction to the caregiver to not be surprised if a dying individual seems to ?hallucinate? about the presence of dead individuals in the room and the website suggests that the attendant contact a chaplain if they need to discuss it further.
All that to say that for Abraham, as with Enkidu, a message from the divine precedes the actual moment of death and we experience the grace of being given the time to make amends and to prepare ourselves for our final moments in this body on earth.
Lewis D. Solomon Ordained rabbi and professor at The George Washington University describes the dying process:
During the dying process, according to the Jewish tradition, each of us encounters beloved, deceased relatives, close friends, and wise teachers as well as angels. Prior to or at the death moment, the spirits of deceased relatives and friends, those who love us the most, visit a dying person to offer a welcome and ease the transition from the world of the living to the post death World of the Souls.
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The soul, of course, is difficult to describe in words.? However the integration of the human soul with the functioning of the body is foundational to the Jewish mystical belief, the Kabbalah. Just as one?s soul lives in communion with one?s body throughout the entirety of one?s lifetime, the experience of the soul is an integral part of the dying process.
A religious conception of the human soul and angelic visitors is by no means limited to the Jewish tradition. Thirteenth-century Christian philosopher and mystic Meister Eckhart spoke of the closeness of the angels and the human soul to God Himself: Eckhart wrote:
The authorities teach that next to the first emanation, which is the Son coming out of the Father, the angels are most like God.
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Eckhart describes a mystical relationship between the angels, the human soul, and ultimately God Himself. In mystical Christianity, angels are sent to the soul of an individual so that the individual may become enlightened by the knowledge of the one true God.
In the Islamic tradition, Sufi scholar Shaykh Muhammed Hisham Kabbani explains that ?The existence of angels as messengers of God is one of the pillars of belief in most religious traditions and that is the case in Islam also.?? Kabbani presents a beautifully poetic description of angels as expressed in Islamic religious lore:
God has created a tree in the seventh heaven, on each leaf of which is found one letter of the Koran. Every leaf is a throne carved from a precious stone, and every letter is represented by an angel sitting on that throne. Each angel is the key to a different endless ocean of knowledge, which has no beginning and no end. The diver into these oceans is the Archangel Gabriel.
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In the Islamic tradition, The seventh heaven, is the sphere where the angels dwell, the place where the prophet Abraham dwells, and the place where God is present.
The pre-eminence of angels in the Old Testament, the New Testament, and the Qu?ran makes a compelling argument for the foundational nature of belief in angels in each of these Semitic traditions. Indeed, the emanation of an angel can be understood as an external embodied figure, such as the angel who speaks to Hagar or Muhammad; but more deeply and metaphorically, angels are recognized as a metaphors ?of ?interiority?, an ?ascent?, of ?light and darkness? and of ?oneness with God.??
While the Buddhist traditions believe in the existence of celestial beings, the belief system does not include the Abrahamic idea of Angels. That said, the Zen Hospice Project suggests that? if your loved one is experiencing hallucinations, simply be present to what is happening; it may be appropriate to just listen. Don?t try to pass judgement, or be the rational voice that angels or deceased relatives aren?t in the room?after all, how do you know??
These sorts of hallucinatory experiences tend to be pathologized as abnormal when they occur at any other time of life. But it seems that visual hallucinations are natural expressions of the body at the end of life. Whether the dis-integrating body is causative of these hallucinations is not clear. But what can be said with certitude is that these visions often occur at the end of life in individuals with no prior history of hallucinatory events. So Even now, in the 21st c, in this age of hyper rationalism, it is the language of the sacred provides the vocabulary to voice the mysterious experiences that shroud the time of dying.
It is hard to bear witness to a death. If it were easy, there would have been no reason for our human ancestors to have given the power of the voice of God to a commandment to do so. Perhaps our ancestors knew that witnessing and ministering to the sick and dying was so primal, so important for the survival of society, that the commandment was understood to be given from YHWH himself.
Bearing witness to the end of a life did then and does now call us to be deeply human, to be open to the mystery of this magical time of life? to have the courage to listen to the teachings of our ancestors and recognize that the time of dying as a time that is sacred and unique.? The wisdom literature handed down to us from millions of people over thousands of years teaches that witnessing is a moral imperative.
Sit at the bedside, become the hands and voice of Gd on earth. How can we do anything less? Thank you.
Closing Words
Those who have the strength and the love to sit with a dying patient in the silence that goes beyond words will know that this moment is neither frightening nor painful, but a peaceful cessation of the functioning of the body. Watching a peaceful death of a human being reminds us of a falling star; one of the million lights in a vast sky that flares up for a brief moment only to disappear into the endless night forever.
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- Elisabeth K?bler-Ross, On Death and Dying
Source: http://www.usnh.org/?page_id=1756
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